The Hoosier Lottery announced today that they're kicking off a partnership with Ivy Tech Community College with a free online financial literacy course. In a media availability event that happened exclusively in my head, Hoosier Lottery Executive Director Sarah Taylor actually passed out the press release touting this partnership. That probably explains why nearly every single article looks nearly identical despite each one being authored by the individual media outlet or a specific reporter.
In an exclusive sit down interview that never actually happened, I asked Taylor to explain how this partnership with Ivy Tech came about and why financial literacy was chosen. After she droned on for several minutes, I asked her if this was her idea of a joke. "Actually, I prefer the knock knock jokes" Taylor said. When asked what part of the financial literacy course covers how to responsibly gamble the meager Social Security check Grandma lives off of away at a local gas station, Taylor reminded me that there's a 1-800 number on every Hoosier Lottery ticket for people who have an addiction to gaming. "Gambling only takes place on riverboat casinos", Taylor said, correcting me.
I also couldn't let this chance pass without asking why the Hoosier Lottery has targeted an aggressive expansion of Lottery retailers and self-serve kiosks almost exclusively in poor and minority communities. And why the media campaign behind the Hoosier Lottery is almost always in the parts of town that could use a lift up. I asked her why the State Fairgrounds electronic billboard screams Lottery promotion day in and day out near a part of town where many African Americans live and what passes for a grocery store around there are usually pimping Hoosier Lottery tickets day in and day out, while the few retail outlets in Hamilton County that sell the Lottery have a lot less flare beside it.
At that time, I was kindly escorted out of the completely made up media availability event.
The Onion might as well just pack on up and move to Indianapolis. Half of our actual news events look like an Onion article already.